Going Nowhere Faster

			Here's a mix of things I've written for the Onion in the last year. I thought it would be interesting in some instances to include versions of the articles that I actually turned in, along with the versions they ended up printing. You may well conclude they were right to prune so heavily. On the other hand, it's an introduction to journalism in terms of just letting go of the ground meat and having someone else form the hamburger patty that ends up with your name on it.

			UPDATE: If you're wondering why there are no new articles, and that some of the links no longer function, it's because the suits over at the Onion axed both the San Francisco and Los Angeles versions of the paper pretty much without a word, not a sorry, thanks, or goodbye. They did, however, promise to keep the online version up, and graciously offered all their local writers the opportuniity to keep churning out content on deadline FOR FREE. Yeah, seriously, they did. Not snotty ironic joke there. Well, as you might imagine, I declined. Then, the online version disappeared completely. I guess they decided to save a little cash on paying for the domain name. That's the economy in a nutshell.....
12-25-08
			How To Spend Christmas Alone Print version How to Spend Christmas Alone Unedited version

1-15-09
			Raj Patel Interview

2-19-09
			Kelley Stoltz Interview Butchered intro version Kelley Stoltz Interview Original intro version

3-19-05
			Wednesday Is So The New Friday Print version Wednesday Is So The New Friday Unedited version

4-09-09
			Stimulate Your Package

3-05-09
			Top Chef's Jamie Lauren Interview


			Just Win, Baby appears every Friday on Decider.com, the San Francisco edition of The Onion


4-03-09
			Just Win, Baby "Baseball's Opening Day" Print version Read the unedited version

4-10-09
			Just Win, Baby "The 10 Biggest Tools In Sports"

4-17-09
			Just Win, Baby "Eight People We Really Love"

4-24-09
			Just Win, Baby "The Mosh Pit That Is The NFL Draft"

5-01-09
			Just Win, Baby "What is a Sports Hero?"